Maybe this has nothing to do with the fact that we’ve all spent nearly two months sitting on our hands at home. But it might also have everything in the world to do with it. The young people (I can only assume it’s young people) who have not been lured by sourdough bread’s siren song have instead turned their eyes toward a flashier, equally seductive corner of viral food media: dialing up the indulgence of every meal we prepare for ourselves. We saw it with pancake cereal, in which a bowlful of tiny pancakes was doused in butter, syrup, and milk. We saw it with peanut butter milk, in which regular milk is treated to a fluffy topping of peanut butter, heavy whipping cream, and candy. And now, perhaps inevitably, the Instagram account @dcfoodporn has popularized the notion of “cookie cereal.”
“Is cookie cereal the next trend!?” asks @dcfoodporn in the caption of the video. Now, this Instagram account did not remotely invent this concept. Not only have other Instagram accounts been pushing bowlfuls of tiny cookies since the dawn of foodfluencing, but also, let’s not forget to honor our forefathers at General Mills and Ralston Purina, who have been getting away with selling Cookie Crisp cereal to children since 1977.
Still, what’s interesting about “cookie cereal” is how it just takes one well-shot, fast-motion process video backed by a sexy music track to suddenly spark the fascination and joy of the Instagram masses, who are now infected with the idea of “Cookie Crisp, but make it expensive and labor-intensive fashion.” It’s likely we’ll see this concept one-upped by the end of the week. Will someone crumble a bunch of Rice Krispies treats into a bowl and add some milk for peak foodfluencer glory? Or fashion tiny homemade Oreos with a hole punched through the middle as an ode to Oreo O’s? Did I just squander two million-dollar ideas on the third paragraph of a story about a guy who put tiny chocolate chip cookies into a bowl with milk? Did I just make the greatest mistake of my life?