Sophia Michaels
Sushi was a girl. The white and caramel Aegean kitten staring at me looked cute enough to be my new daughter. Sushi’s previous owner referred to her as a girl. Thus I asked no questions. Weeks later, my college girlfriend called my phone terrified. “He has a penis,” she yelled in disgust. The pink reality staring back at us rocked our household. It turns out Sushi was a “he” and also that cat cocks are terrifying.
That’s what makes Jason Derulo’s recent comments regarding his cat penis (or lack thereof) relatable. During an interview on Sirius XM’s Andy Cohen Live, Derulo lamented that his Instagram famous bulge was no longer present in the movie version of Cats. “They CGI-ed the dick out,” Derulo said. “Yeah, they did CGI. I noticed that.”
When asked by Cohen if Derulo thinks his regular bulge was airbrushed out of the movie, the singer responded with an emphatic “125 percent. I can see it in the trailer, for sure.” Derulo is playing Rum Tum Tugger — at this time, it’s unclear if T.S. Eliot meant any sexual innuendos when conceiving this character — in the 2019 CGI-adaptation of the infamous blockbuster Broadway musical.
Last month, Derulo was embroiled in a penis print controversy after posting a risque photo of his obscured long dong to Instagram before it was removed by the photo-sharing platform. “Fuk u mean? I have underwear on,” Derulo wrote in response to the takedown. “I can’t help my size.” It is likely that Derulo not being able to help his size is the reasoning behind the penis removal.
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Rolling Stone will keep you updated with any news regarding the reinstatement of Derulo’s human penis onto his CGI-cat body.
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