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Haaland doubles up as Manchester City humiliate neighbours United

“Mind the gap”; “Old Trafford is falling down”; and “we’ve got Guardiola”: what a day for Manchester City fans who delighted in these choruses as their beloved team swatted aside an insipid, devoid-of-ideas Manchester United.

Erik ten Hag’s side failed miserably to give Sir Bobby Charlton what the great man would crave as he watched down from above: a victory. Or, even, a performance because, simply, they lacked any consistent creative plan and faced an opponent who, patently, possess one.

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For a while in the first half this 191st derby had a throwback feel as United and City scuffled for ascendancy and players scrapped to best individual battles. Then, the champions decided to turn the screw and blew a United, who ended seriously embarrassed, away.

When Phil Foden tapped in Erling Haaland’s unselfish ball from André Onana’s line it had swathes of United fans departing while the manner of the strike summed up the state their team is in. This City third was presaged by Rodri being allowed to pad forward by a disinterested Christian Eriksen and shoot – when Onana saved there was the Norwegian to set-up Foden with ease.

Haaland began the game with nine Premier League finishes and ended with 11. The 10th came before the break and from the spot: a hapless Rasmus Højlund yanked down Rodri and the 6ft 4in phenomenon sent Onana the wrong way.

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His second came after the sides had changed ends – this from a dipping Bernardo Silva cross, as all of United’s rearguard was sucked right to leave Haaland unmarked to head home.

For this observer, then, there is no doubt: United are going backwards from last season’s side that finished third and claimed the Carabao Cup, while the second half here may have been City’s best 45 minutes of the campaign – ominous for any title rivals.

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By the close those with blue blood inside Old Trafford had another chant to torment their opposite number with: “See the champions and fuck off home”, this went. Many had by then and you could not blame them.

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