Brian Jeffrey
An increasing number of women are choosing challenging careers driven by passion—not only gaining financial stability and social respect but also playing a crucial role in breaking down gender barriers in various professions.
While coffins may induce discomfort for many, for Nguyen Thi Lan Kieu, born in 1993 in Dong Thap, they are familiar items that she engages with and enhances on a daily basis.
Kieu has devoted nearly three years to a profession that requires courage. Together with her husband, she manages a comprehensive funeral service in Cao Lanh City.
Her favorite and most satisfying responsibility is “can hom,” or decorating coffins. Every week, she receives plain coffins from artisans and personally embellishes them to enhance their beauty and impact.
“Coffin decoration involves inlaying or attaching shells to surfaces. I select materials based on the type of wood—sometimes opting for paper or pre-formed plastics,” Kieu clarified.
Each artisan has a unique approach. Kieu frequently incorporates designs of dragons, phoenixes, or rural landscapes, viewing these motifs as both beautiful and spiritually significant.
Once she completes the decoration, craftsmen apply a fresh coat of paint, transforming the coffin from simple to unique.
For Kieu, her decoration work enriches the last journey of the departed, bringing a sense of solemnity and comfort to those left behind.
“Most clients prefer a straightforward look, so I steer clear of excessive embellishments. The buyers usually focus on the wood type and price, often overlooking the designs. Nevertheless, I put my heart into creating a harmonious arrangement,” she shared.
Kieu operates without strict guidelines. She asserts that sincerity, respect for the departed, and honoring the family’s desires are paramount.
“We adhere to one fundamental principle: honoring our trade’s predecessors. On the 2nd and 16th of every lunar month, I present offerings of fruits, incense, and candles with reverence. Disrespecting our ancestors is unacceptable,” Kieu stated.
Coffin decoration represents just one facet of Kieu’s funeral service offerings. Along with her husband and a small team, they also provide full embalming services for the deceased.
Once a family schedules services, she gathers all necessary embalming materials, decorations, mourning attire, candles, and incense, arriving at their home about three to four hours before the ceremony.
At that time, her team divides responsibilities—setting up curtains, preparing coffin items, drafting obituaries, creating thank-you notes, or arranging frames.
“Often, my husband and I wash and dress the deceased for the family, ensuring everything is tidy before they are placed in the coffin. I don’t feel fear. By studying Buddhist texts, I grasp the concepts of rebirth and karma. The departed aren’t gone; they merely rest for eternity,” Kieu explained.
Similar to her decoration work, she approaches this task with dedication, aiming for the deceased’s last journey to be flawless.
“After the embalming, we depart, only to return on the burial day. The process is only truly complete when they are laid to rest,” she elaborated.
Since embarking on this vocation, Kieu has never felt haunted or experienced unsettling dreams. She regards it as a regular job, even earning the titles of “iron woman” and “fearless.”
“We don’t follow rituals—just shower after work, not using herbs or fire to ward off chills, but simply to feel fresh and clean,” she noted.
In a profession intimately connected to death, Kieu has encountered many moving situations.
Once, she managed a funeral for a couple where the husband passed away, followed by the wife just 25 days later. In another instance, a man who seemed perfectly healthy in the morning passed away by the afternoon while resting on a hammock. His family was too impoverished to afford a coffin.
“Their situation was truly heartbreaking, so we offered our services at no cost. The wife collected condolence donations and, after expenses, had 3 million VND left. She tried to give it to me, but I insisted she use it to buy food for her children,” Kieu recalled.
Through witnessing farewells, losses, and sorrow, Kieu has gained valuable insights. Previously, she and her husband often squabbled. Now, working side by side, they’ve softened their demeanor, learning to resolve conflicts swiftly.
“You may live today without knowing if tomorrow is guaranteed—so embrace love and cherish joyous moments. Having spent years in this industry, I understand life’s fleeting nature more than most,” she concluded.
