Rita Odafe
Changing Perspectives on Bride Price
A Nigerian woman has shared her thoughts on the custom of bride price, arguing it should not be abolished, but rather revised in certain aspects.
She believes the bride price should go directly to the bride since she is the one entering into the marriage.
Moreover, she feels that the traditional list presented to the groom should be composed of women’s inputs.
She humorously noted that when her time to marry arrives, she would prefer her bride price to be given to her mother, while her father and his brothers could enjoy “small ogogoro,” a local drink.
In her own words: “Currently, there is a discussion about a man facing a bride price list amounting to millions.”
“While many feminists disagree with bride price customs, I enjoy Nigerian traditions and love engaging in discussions about them with people from other cultures.”
“That being said, I do think some changes are needed.”
She proposed two main changes:
“1. The bride price should go directly to the bride. Since she is the one who will live with her spouse, it makes sense for her to receive this payment.”
“2. The list of items for the groom should be prepared by women. They endure a lot during pregnancy and childbirth, while someone who hasn’t experienced these challenges collects the bride price.”
“Why should a man sit there collecting a fee when he hasn’t gone through those changes? It’s time for a rethink.”
She pointed out that the bride price tradition stems from patriarchal roots and questioned why men complain about costly demands when they originally established these customs. “Can a woman be valued at just a tiny sum when she is responsible for so much, including carrying and raising children?”
She concluded that her bride price should benefit her mother, while small gifts for her father and his siblings would suffice, suggesting, “Just a little ogogoro to spark debates about football would keep them happy.”
