Sophia Michaels
Minutes after the NFC divisional matchup between the New York Giants and Philadelphia Eagles concluded, Saturday Night Live kicked off with a Fox postgame show with appearances by sideline reporter “George Santos” and Kitara Ravache, the freshman congressman’s alleged drag stage name.
“George Santos here reporting live from the Super Bowl,” began Bowen Yang, wearing a sweater not unlike the one that Santos was pictured in on his first day in office.
“Congrats on an amazing career,” said James Austin Johnson as NFL on Fox commentator Jimmie Johnson. “I didn’t even know you played football, but I’m seeing here that you were the first player to lead the league in passing and rushing?”
“That’s correct,” Yang replied. “I’m sort of the real Bo Jackson, and I’m proud to be the first African American quarterback to ever dunk a football.” (Among the many things Santos has lied about, one of them was his heritage.)
When asked by Terry Bradshaw, played by Molly Kearney, where he played football in college, he replied, “The University of College.”
Yang then gave a recap of Saturday night’s game, claiming that Philadelphia had to turn to their “secret weapon”: himself.
“Just look at the stats: I completed 36 of 25 passes for 300 yards and 600 yards. I had 12 touchdowns, 17 rebounds and ten RBI,” Yang joked before adding that Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy even gave him an Academy Award.
When confronted about those bogus statistics, Yang merely denied that he performed in drag in Brazil under the name Kitara Ravache. “Whoever did, though,” he said suspiciously, “was very, very good at it and won many, many pageants.”
Later in the sketch, it was none other than Yang, now appearing as Ravache, who interrupted another sideline reporter to offer another type of statistics.
“Death drops: 26. Duck walks: 19. Wigs snatched: infinity. I was also given the award for tightest tuck,” Yang bragged before dancing to the NFL on Fox theme.
