Prince William and Prince Harry are two of the most recognized figures globally, known for their royal status and the hardships they experienced during their upbringing. Beyond the tragic loss of their mother, Princess Diana, their lives were shaped by immense pressure from their family, the media, and their own expectations while dealing with grief over the years.
The brotherly relationship was also strained due to the challenges they faced. A royal source noted to Newsweek that although they share a profound bond due to their early loss, they have very different emotional responses and often lead separate lives. Both have managed to handle the exciting highs and the devastating lows that come with their childhoods, both privately and under public scrutiny.
William and Harry were acutely aware of the discord in their parents’ relationship growing up. Although there were considerations not to proceed, their parents, Charles and Diana, married in a grand ceremony in 1981. William arrived soon after followed by Harry three years later. For ten years, they witnessed the mounting tensions of a deteriorating marriage. Biographer Andrew Morton shared on “Loose Women” that the boys experienced this turmoil daily.
With Diana’s rejection of royal customs and Charles’s affair with Camilla, the brothers grew up amidst public scandal. The royal couple’s differing parenting philosophies added to the challenges. Experts have observed that the effects of their parent’s tumultuous relationship extended beyond personal struggles to affect their royal legacy.
After separating in 1992 and officially divorcing in 1996, the princes faced further challenges. Fortunately, their school at the time made efforts to keep them away from the media frenzy. According to royal commentator Dickie Arbiter, this step significantly shielded them from the chaos surrounding their family.
A different perspective shaped by their mother’s approach
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Unlike traditional royals, Princess Diana was determined to give her sons a more relatable upbringing. William and Harry enjoyed experiences like taking the Tube in London, waiting in line for amusement park rides, and even dining at fast-food restaurants with her. They attended public school and frequently showed affection towards their mother contrary to royal norms. Royal commentator Penny Junor remarked on this in a CNN documentary, “Diana.”
This attempt at normalcy not only endeared them to the public but also led to tension within royal circles. While Diana embraced a more affectionate parenting style, Charles preferred adhering to royal expectations. The favoritism sometimes shown to them by family members, including Queen Elizabeth II, only added to the stress for Diana.
Despite these conflicts, the boys received unwavering love from their mother. Prince Harry reflected on this in a memorial speech, stating that her love was always evident and essential to their lives.
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The Tragic Loss of Their Mother
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In 1997, tragedy struck when Princess Diana died in a car accident in Paris, leaving her sons, Prince William and Prince Harry, devastated. William was just 15 and Harry was 12, and the shocking event left an everlasting mark on their lives.
The brothers were constantly reminded of their mother’s memory through countless tributes. William described his grief as feeling like an earthquake disrupting his life, revealing the emotional turmoil he faced in the documentary “Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy” (via Town and Country). During her highly publicized funeral, they bore the immense pressure of saying goodbye to her in front of millions, a challenge Harry later deemed unfair for any child. Despite the challenges, the princes honor their mother’s legacy by engaging in humanitarian work.
Prince Harry’s Long Struggle with Therapy
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In the aftermath of his mother’s death, Prince Harry struggled for years to cope with his grief, often shunning constructive ways to heal. During his teenage years, he developed a wild reputation, engaging in excessive partying and reckless behavior. He admitted in his “Heart of Invictus” documentary in 2023 (via Town and Country) that he suppressed his emotions, only to feel overwhelmed later.
It took him many years to realize the extent of the trauma he endured and the absence of support during that difficult time. Hesitant to seek therapy, he initially feared it would sever his connection to his mother. However, in a conversation with Dr. Gabor Mate, Harry found that therapy helped him preserve his memories of her rather than diminish them (via Sky News).
Prince William’s Silent Battle with Mental Health
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Prince William, as the older brother and future king, also carried the weight of unresolved grief over losing their mother. He often prioritized his royal duties over addressing his feelings, realizing that the pain of such an early loss is profound. In comments to the BBC, he spoke about the unique pain of losing a parent at a young age.
As he matured and built his own family, William found healthier ways to handle his grief and aims to ensure his children remember their grandmother. “It’s important that they knew who she was and that she existed,” he mentioned in the HBO documentary “Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy” (via Town and Country).
The Weight of Royal Expectations
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As the eldest son, William faced significant pressures from an early age due to his royal status…
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Insights into the Early Lives of Princes William and Harry
Prince William’s Heavy Crown
As the firstborn son and heir to the English throne, Prince William carries a greater royal responsibility compared to his younger brother, Prince Harry. Princess Diana was acutely aware of this burden and grieved for the life William would be tasked with leading. Former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond noted, “William felt the weight of his future,” highlighting that unlike other boys, he wouldn’t enjoy the liberty to choose his own path. Nevertheless, Diana believed in his potential to be a great king despite the associated pressures.
Additionally, Diana had a special nickname for Harry, indicating her views on their future roles. She referred to him as GKH (Good King Harry) because she felt he might be better suited for kingship, according to royal commentator Charles Rae. This name also served to make Harry feel unique and valued.
Harry’s Rebellious Adolescence
During his teenage years, Prince Harry garnered a reputation as a troublemaker, engaging in numerous reckless activities that seemed to mask his internal struggles. Reports indicated he even sought help for substance issues at the age of 17. Media outlets described him as unpredictable and detached. “He tends to lose focus and disappear when bored,” remarked a journalist from The Guardian.
Reflecting on his turbulent youth in his memoir “Spare,” Harry acknowledged that it took him until his twenties to channel his grief positively. He expressed, “I needed to address my mistakes,” emphasizing his desire to shift his focus towards more constructive endeavors and to utilize his royal status for meaningful contributions.
William: Diana’s Trusted Ally
As a child, Prince William often acted as a confidant for his mother, especially as her marriage troubles with Prince Charles intensified. Author Tina Brown noted in “The Palace Papers” that Diana leaned heavily on William, who by his early teens had become her most trusted advisor, often referred to by her as “my little wise old man.”
Diana frequently turned to William for insights on her life choices and shared various concerns with him, further adding to the pressure he felt as the heir. He was often privy to tabloid rumors about her personal life, which placed him in a challenging emotional role during her latter years, a situation discussed by biographer Sally Bedell Smith.
Harry’s Sense of Alienation
Unlike William, who was closely aligned with their mother’s emotions, Prince Harry grappled with feelings of isolation within the family. Being the younger sibling, he felt distanced not only from royal responsibilities but from personal connections as well. “I often felt physically present but mentally absent,” he conveyed during a conversation with Dr. Gabor Mate (via Sky News).
Harry’s experience was compounded by relentless media scrutiny, which contributed to his struggles. He acknowledged that he had been on the brink of a breakdown due to these numerous pressures.
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Prince Harry Reflects on Grief and Connection to His Mother
In several interviews, Prince Harry expressed how he faced a barrage of grief and falsehoods from multiple sources. He shared with The Telegraph in 2017 that he felt a deep sense of alienation, similar to what his mother experienced due to the royal family and constant media intrusion. Discussing these feelings, even in her absence, helped Harry maintain a bond with her.
Longstanding Rivalry Between the Brothers
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Despite the continual media attention and the constraints of royal life, Prince William and Prince Harry have harbored a sibling rivalry dating back to their childhood. Their playful exchanges sometimes escalated beyond typical sibling tussles, with moments of genuine conflict. “When they hit each other, they meant it,” noted Ken Wharfe, who previously protected the young princes, to The Royal Observer.
This rivalry intensified, culminating in Harry’s well-publicized departure from royal life after marrying Meghan Markle. In his memoir “Spare,” he recounted an instance where their playful fighting evolved into a serious confrontation, claiming that William started the altercation. “Part of this role, part of this job, this family, being under the pressure which it’s under, inevitably stuff happens,” Harry revealed during an ITV interview in 2019 (via CNN).
Sophia Michaels
