Sophia Michaels
From pristine pink dream houses to perfectly curated outfits that easily transition from daytime to beach days, Barbieland has it all. Who wouldn’t want to live in it? But as anyone who has seen the “Barbie” movie knows all too well, living in the Real World has its very human benefits, too. Either way, you may very well find yourself wishing you could step into Greta Gerwig’s vibrantly hued feminist fable as a “Barbie” character, whether that’s Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie), President Barbie (Issa Rae), Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon), or yup, possibly even one of the Kens.
To get a sense of who you’d be if you were to do that, look no further than your personal astrology. As you read on, consider not only your sun sign (which speaks to your self-image and identity) but your moon sign (your emotional compass) and your rising sign (how you present yourself out in the world).
Aries (March 21-April 19): Ken
The first sign of the zodiac, Aries is playful, innocent, fun-loving, and competitive, much like Ken (the original, played by Ryan Gosling). It’s also the cardinal fire sign ruled by Mars, the planet of action, energy, and even anger, which can flare up when you’re embracing impulsivity and not taking sufficient time to acknowledge and work through complex emotions. But like Barbieland’s leading man, those born under the sign of the Ram are always up for a challenge and usually find a way to come out on top — ideally by embracing exactly who they are.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Doctor Barbie
Dr. Barbie is not only a brilliant, steady physician capable of tending to anyone who might have a medical mishap (like Ken, who wipes out attempting to surf hard plastic waves), but she’s also up for partying when the moment calls for it. Taurus, the fixed earth sign ruled by beauty and pleasure-loving Venus, has a unique ability to be calm in a crisis and live in the moment. That said, it stands to reason that the top doc in Barbieland — who doubles as a DJ when the lights go down — is a pleasure-loving Bull who can practice mindfulness as well as she does medicine.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Lawyer Barbie
Lawyer Barbie is a master of language who can easily win a jury over with her brilliant, applause-spurring communication skills, which are innate to the mutable air sign ruled by messenger Mercury. Social Geminis also have a wide circle of friends much like this doll-turned-attorney. And symbolized by the Twins, there are two sides to Geminis — perhaps shy and reserved at times, and outgoing and outspoken at others, and we see these varied sides of Lawyer Barbie as she navigates one majorly game-changing moment in Barbieland history.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Midge
Midge tends to spur a lot of shock and punchlines, because as the first and only pregnant Barbie doll, she was a bit confusing to customers (yep, apparently Barbies can have babies) and ended up being discontinued. But like the cardinal water sign Cancer, Midge is sweet, friendly, and maternal. Ruled by the intuitive moon, people born under the sign of the Crab are emotionally intelligent, naturally super funny, innately nurturing, and family-oriented. Midge does crack everyone up — and lives in Skipper’s house, so clearly she’s a Cancer.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Stereotypical Barbie
Stereotypical Barbie is sunny, optimistic, driven, and loves a good dance party — so, obviously, she’s a Leo. The fixed fire sign is ruled by the sun, which oversees self-image and confidence, but when a Leo is stripped away from the spotlight, they might begin to have a bit of an existential crisis. Stereotypical Barbie is also unaccustomed to the shadow side of life (*cough* like thoughts of death), preferring to focus on vitality and the bright side of every story, which is quite Leonine. Still, once she is able to wrap her arms around the beauty of being flawed, she’s quick to feel empowered — and empower others, which is a signature Leo trait.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Sasha
Though Virgo may have a reputation for being critical and nitpicky, people born under the mutable earth sign are service-oriented pragmatists who care deeply about helping others, just like Sasha. The young teen is also detail-oriented, articulate beyond her years, and quick to share her brainy, feminist hot takes — strengths that Virgo is afforded as a result of being ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. And like Sasha when she’s working in tandem with her mom, Gloria, the sign symbolized by the Maiden is nearly unmatched when it comes to applying their grounded work ethic. TBH, their perfectionist efforts almost always lead to applause-worthy results.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Diplomat Barbie
Deeply invested in bringing balance to every aspect of life, Libra is the cardinal air sign ruled by Venus, the planet of romance and beauty. Diplomat Barbie touts her Libran charms by wearing a ballgown and awarding fellow Barbies while winning awards herself. And if you were born under the sign of the Scales, you’re likely as invested as Diplomat Barbie in being a social butterfly and taking advantage of every opportunity to celebrate and applaud your wide circle of friends.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Gloria
Driven, hardworking, and capable of stepping into their power, Scorpio is the fixed water sign ruled by go-getter Mars and transformative Pluto. While she might be struggling to feel entirely empowered, Gloria ultimately offers Barbieland — and teary audiences — a game-changing, memorable speech in an awe-inspiring, magnetic way that’s truly Scorpionic. Not to mention that Scorpios can’t help but wonder about the darker side of life, interested in exploring our shadow sides and mortality, something that Gloria finds herself diving into headfirst.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): President Barbie
Joyful, outgoing, and the life of the party like President Barbie, Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of abundance, expansion, and philosophy. The mutable fire sign’s M.O. is absolutely “go big or go home,” exuding lots of feel-good energy and wisdom. Sag also tends to have no problem offering their unfiltered thoughts and opinions while also cheering others on. In fact, people born under the sign of the Archer are naturally at home in the spotlight, which makes them truly charismatic leaders, just like the leader of Barbieland.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Writer Barbie
Having won a Nobel Prize, Writer Barbie is greatly invested in her work — just as a Capricorn would be. Because Cap is ruled by Saturn, the taskmaster planet, the cardinal earth sign is industrious, driven, pragmatic, and goal-oriented. You can tell Writer Barbie is a bit professorial, wise beyond her years, and truly intellectual. She could be the Barbie to document the history of Barbieland in a must-read tome one day — all traits that are in line with tradition-revering, down-to-earth Sea Goat.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Weird Barbie
Ruled by Uranus, the planet of rebellion, the fixed air sign is proudly — and sometimes, obstinately — obsessed with striking out against convention and embracing their tendency to march to the beat of their own drum, much like Weird Barbie. Uranus is also the planet of electricity and sudden change, so Aquarians get a kick out of shocking others by being out there or rejecting social norms — whatever those are. Weird Barbie is basically to Barbieland what the Wizard is to Oz, and that’s also a role a quirky, cerebral, community-oriented Aquarian could easily step into. They’re also humanitarian at heart, and while she may be a doll, Weird Barbie is unafraid to connect with the flawed, human side of her personality.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Mermaid Barbie
Artistic, dreamy, and innately magical, Mermaid Barbie is undoubtedly a Pisces, the mutable water sign symbolized by the fish. Ruled by Neptune, the planet of spirituality, Pisceans are natural empaths and inspire others with their ability to bring all things imaginative and surreal into everyday life, much like the only Barbie to sport a fishtail. And because the ocean is truly therapeutic and centering for Pisces, they’d ideally love to live in the water, just like Mermaid Barbie — or at least as close to it as possible.
