Sophia Michaels
Ugh. Hangovers. When you have the pounding in your head, that dry mouth, that taste of acid in your throat, the aches in your muscles… you start to wonder if drinking alcohol is even worth the trouble. Then, there you are the next weekend, drink in hand, trying to do your best Yeezy at a karaoke bar.
Rinse, remix, repeat. No regrets. For those of us who just have to let loose a little, a hangover is part of the package. The next day you’re gonna want to curse Dionysus, Bacchus, and maybe even Jesus and his winemaking ways for the pounding in your head. There’s a slew of advice out there for hangover cures. But, like drink preferences, most cures are very personal. Some brewers swear by vitamin B supplements (yeast) to counteract what alcohol is actually doing to you physically. Other studies have shown that the fatty amino acids in bacon replace the proteins alcohol removes from your gut. Sometimes, you just need to rehydrate and fix a massive sugar crash — we’re looking at you Jack and Coke drinkers.
So, what is the best hangover cure out there? Well, the good people over at Ranker asked this very question. An interesting top ten shook out that hits on a little savory, a little hair of the dog, and a little sweetness. Let’s dive in and see what the masses had to say.
10. Ginger Ale
Ah, ginger ale, the choice of so many flyers and hungover people. There’s admittedly something about the slightly spicy and sweet fizzy drink that’s just straight-up comforting and kinda head-clearing. But, c’mon: Ginger ale on its own isn’t saving any hungover lives.
9. Thick Cut Bacon
Now we’re getting somewhere. The smell of cooking bacon warms the far reaches of your foodie soul. That waft of frying salt-cured meat sizzling in its own fat is uplifting and promises good things to come.
8. Bloody Mary
Surprisingly Bloody Marys are the only hair of the dog option on the list. We’d also like to recommend a half pint of beer with egg yolk, but Ranker didn’t consult us. Bloody Marys are, in fact, delicious. Spice, umami, vodka, and lush textures will lull you back from the edge and calm those post-party jitters. Just try and stick to one though.
7. Scrambled Eggs
A protein blast with a nice cut of fat is a great way to start the day in general. There’s something extra satisfying about buttery scrambled eggs in the AM when your head feels like it’s still in another room. Add a nice piece of sourdough rye toast and you’re almost ready for that morning hangover nap.
6. Coffee
This feels like the best bet to fight a hangover instead of cure it. Coffee is a caffeine delivery system that gives you a short boost. But you’ll always crash if you don’t keep up that dose. And too much coffee just adds to the jitters and headaches when you overdose on caffeine.
Sorry, friends, unless you’ve got Don Draper’s liver coffee feels more like a band-aid for a broken leg.
5. Orange Juice
OJ’s an interesting choice. One, you’re getting a massive dose of sugars (more than a Coke in some cases). You’re also re-hydrating, which is a net positive. Just watch out for that sugar crash that comes along with orange juice. Or maybe time that mid-morning nap to around the same time that crash comes.
4. Full English Breakfast
This is a solid choice. A good ol’ English fry-up is comfort food amped up to eleven. Blood pudding, sausages, bacon rashers, hash browns, baked beans, eggs, grilled tomato and mushroom, and toast hits pretty much every nutritional vector. Plus, this one will likely put you in a nice coma for a couple hours while you binge some Netflix and your body goes to work repairing itself will all the good fats, proteins, vitamins, carbs, fiber, and minerals you just loaded into your body.
3. Hamburger
Like an English breakie, this is another solid choice that hits a lot of good food groups. Protein, check. Fat, check. Carbs, check. Fiber, check. Sounds good. Now, if only we knew the best burger to cure that hangover … if only.
2. Cold Pizza
We have to admit, this is a nice addition. Cold pizza has a distinctly unique taste, texture, and pull. Everything is held in place so there’s no messiness. There’s also no chance of burning your mouth or tongue with piping hot sauce, something no one wants that when they’re hungover.
1. Gatorade
This feels like the most sensible option. Electrolytes, hydration, and sugars are the way to go to get your shit back together after a night of drinking … and to avoid the dreaded muscle cramps that come along with severe dehydration. Gatorade has come to the rescue of many a hangover over the years. So, it feels pretty right to see it at number one. But if you really want the benefits with no sugar try Pedialyte.
Written by: Uproxx
