Brian Jeffrey
First comes love, then comes . . . no marriage! Shannon Ullman from YourTango shares why she and her companion selected to not stroll down the aisle. Who can relate?
I image myself as rather a lot of issues, however a spouse is not one of them.
We’ve been collectively for 13 years and we’ve got no intention of getting married. Ever. While many of our associates are tying the knot, we have been busy making different life plans.
Marriage is not one thing that we’re laying aside. It’s simply one thing that we have determined to not take part in. Here’s why.
1. It would not add something helpful to our lives.
When I take into consideration marriage, I can not assume of something helpful that it brings to my life. After 13 years collectively, Josh and I are already dedicated to one another. It would not function a barrier in opposition to breaking apart as a result of . . . divorce. It will not make our future youngsters’s lives simpler to know as a result of we do not plan on having any. It will not assist both one of us grow to be extra financially steady, as a result of we each have jobs and have been splitting prices 50/50 since our teenagers.
2. A marriage ceremony could be a waste of our time and money.
It solely prices $80 to get legally married in Philadelphia the place we reside. No huge deal. A marriage, although? Prices can get pretty outrageous. And neither of us have dad and mom who may assist pay for the occasion. Sure, we may have our mothers make the meals, brew our personal beer, and thrift all of the decorations. But even a marriage on an excessive finances prices time and money.
Josh and I are each attempting to advance our careers, construct companies, repay debt, make sensible investments, lower your expenses, and nonetheless have the time and capital left over to get pleasure from ourselves. I can not assume of any worthwhile motive to have a marriage, even when it by some means solely price $100. Our family and friends know that we love one another. We can have a good time it with a home get together if we needed to.
Oh, and I can not overlook to say the insane price of engagement rings. The value of most rings may most likely repay my scholar loans or put a down cost on a brand new rental property. And, to me, that appears far more romantic than a stone on my finger.
3. It could be a burden for our family members.
Have you ever performed an necessary position in another person’s marriage ceremony? If you have got, you could have discovered it to be rather a lot of work. Maybe you want that sort of factor. That’s completely high-quality. But, from my expertise, different peoples’ weddings price rather a lot of time and money.
Our associates are paying off scholar debt and attempting to construct lives for themselves. Our dad and mom barely find the money for to cowl their very own payments. The last item we wish to ask them is to purchase attire and fits, and provides us items. Sure, it will be superior to get together with all of our family and friends, however we may simply as simply invite everybody over for a BBQ in our yard.
4. We each come from divorced households.
Our dad and mom’ divorces did not make us lose religion in love. If something, it taught us what NOT to do in a relationship. What divorce did do was present us that marriage doesn’t suggest a lot when divorce is such an accessible choice. It additionally confirmed us that marriage doesn’t make a relationship happy or higher. In truth, we discovered that marriage was fairly insignificant when it got here as to if our dad and mom had been blissful or sad of their relationships.
5. We do not care about social norms.
Get married simply because that is what I’m speculated to do? No thanks. It would not matter to me what everybody else does in relation to marriage. I attempt to reside my life based mostly by myself beliefs and objectives. I’m not getting married, irrespective of how dissatisfied or uncomfortable it makes another person.
Let’s be clear; we do not hate marriage or individuals who get married. I imply, Josh is a marriage photographer who SERIOUSLY loves his job. Whatever which means or worth that you simply personally placed on marriage is your corporation. If you assume marriage is essentially the most sacred and exquisite factor on this planet, then it’s. It’s an idea that’s yours to outline.
All I can say is that I hope you’ve got given your stance on marriage some thought earlier than you make investments your cash, time, and feelings into the method.
Shannon is a author, traveler, and expertise junkie. When she’s not writing or off on an journey, she most likely has her head buried in a e book. You can learn extra about her travels and discover assets to journey extra your self on her weblog, Lives Abroad.
Check out extra nice tales from YourTango:
- 8 Seriously Valid Reasons Some People Choose to Never Get Married – Like, Ever
- The 3 Secret Reasons Millennials Are Waiting So Long to Get Married
- I Don’t Want to Get Married, but I Do Want a Life Partner
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